Valduggery Week
by Alex Frankie
Summary: A collection of unrelated pieces for each prompt of Valduggery week on Tumblr
1. Wedding

**A/N: I imagine this as the events leading up to the image on the cover of Last Stand of Dead Men but you have to imagine that Val is in a wedding dress on the cover. AUish because Tanith does not have a Remnant inside her in this.**

"Hey, Val." Tanith said gently.

Valkyrie started and raised her eyes to look at the woman standing behind her in the mirror.

"Mm? Sorry, I was miles away."

"I could see that; you look worried. Everything's going to be okay you know. Our forces are holding the American sanctuary's back, they won't get through any time soon." She stroked Valkyrie's arm reassuringly and went back to arranging the curls piled up on Valkyrie's head. "You look beautiful and if Skulduggery had the capability to cry he would when he sees you and this day is going to perfect okay? So for God sake smile a little already!"

Valkyrie laughed and did her best grin for Tanith in the mirror. "I know it'll be okay, but these past few days have been so stressful it's really made me realise how ridiculous it is, having our wedding in the middle of a war." She sighed. "Anyway, is it time?"

"It's time." Desmond Edgely said, walking through the wooden doors of the side room of the church. "You look beautiful sweetheart, and I think I look dashing if I do say so myself." He said, adjusting his bowtie in the mirror.

"I can't believe mum let you wear that thing." Valkyrie said, shaking her head in disbelief.

"I think you look very nice, Mr Edgely, very sophisticated." Tanith said, holding back a giggle.

"Thank you, Tanith dear. Right Steph, the big moment has arrived. Your audience awaits." Hooking his arm through hers, Desmond walked his daughter towards the door where he stopped briefly to kiss her on the cheek before continuing through.

Tanith, Valkyrie's only bridesmaid, walked behind them. There were fewer guests then there would have been under normal circumstances, a lot of their friends were off fighting the sanctuaries and trying to keep the attention off the fact that the Irish sanctuary's top detectives had gone missing for the day. Being mortals, all of Valkyrie's family had been able to attend and the Edgely side sat in the front rows, looking sour faced as always.

As they got further down the aisle Valkyrie plucked up the courage to take her eyes off the floor and observe her husband to be. He was stood at the alter looking at her with as much adoration as a featureless skeleton could muster. Ghastly had been able to take time away from the fighting to be his best man and he was stood next to Skulduggery, also with a look of adoration on his face- though this look was reserved for the beautiful dress that he had made and not for Valkyrie herself.

They reached the alter and Desmond kissed Valkyrie's cheek once more before taking his seat next to Melissa and wiping a tear from his eye. Valkyrie and Skulduggery turned to face each other but before either could say anything a blast of blinding red light flooded the church, reducing the guests to dust and the structure to debris. At the last moment Valkyrie used the ring she had insisted on wearing in case of emergencies to cast a shield of shadow around the both of them. The sheer force of the blast however, tore through the shadows and Valkyrie collapsed into Skulduggery's arms.

"Valkyrie?" He cried helplessly, clutching her limp body to his chest. "Val come on, wake up… Val?"

He sunk to his knees, still holding her. All around them the remains of the church burnt, sending smoke up into the sky but Skulduggery only had eyes for his Valkyrie, and with each passing second it became more and more obvious that her eyes would not open.


	2. Dark Sides

"Er Skul, there's something I've been meaning to ask you and it's sort of a delicate subject but I can't seem stop thinking about it and I figure we're close enough now that it won't make things awkward and-"

"Valkyrie I have no idea what you're talking about so just ask me whatever it is already and let me get on with this very important and very exciting filing."

Valkyrie's face flushed and she fixed her gaze firmly on the table in front of her before quickly muttering, "You remember when we, well when I say we I mean Darquesse and Vile, but anyway, remember when we had that fight after stopping Melancholia and I said I couldn't remember what happened; well I wasn't exactly telling the truth. I can't remember a lot of it but I have this erm vague sort of memory of doing something to you that's more than a little embarrassing…" She glanced up at Skulduggery; she knew that if he had a face it would currently be wearing a bemused expression.

"Yes Valkyrie? And what would that be?"

"This is going to be so mortifying if I've just made this up but I have this memory of pinning you, or should I say Vile, against a wall and well, kissing you. Quite roughly I might add." She said, laughing nervously.

Skulduggery chuckled before replying, "No no, luckily for you your brain has not just made that up. I was going to mention it to you but I thought I'd spare you the humiliation, I can be quite nice on occasion you see."

"Oh, well, thank you for sorting that out. I'm still absolutely mortified of course."

"Of course."

A few minutes passed in silence before Valkyrie looked up at Skulduggery and said quickly, "so, feel like doing it again?"


	3. Death

Valkyrie tore down the corridors that led deeper into the sanctuary and closer to its medical facilities, her face a mask of desperation. On the phone to her Ghastly had sounded defeated and she knew there wasn't much time left. Turning the last corner she burst through the double doors and immediately made for the bed at which Dr. Nye loomed over its patient.

Nye turned to her and regarded her dishevelled appearance before simply saying, "I'm very sorry for your loss," in a voice that sounded anything but sorry.

Valkyrie moved closer to the operating table and looked up at Ghastly, expecting him to say something, that it was all a big joke and they could all have a laugh at her expense. He did nothing but look back, his eyes full of a sorrow that was mixed with pity.

"What happened?" She asked, surprised at how dead her voice sounded.

"We don't know yet. Came up against a stronger opponent and failed to get lucky this time it would seem." Ghastly replied, not looking at her but rather at the body laying lifeless on the table.

The doors opened and Valkyrie turned and walked into the open arms of her partner.

"Skulduggery how could this happen? I've lost her, my best friend, Tanith." She sobbed into his chest while he held her and stroked her hair.

"I know Val, I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry." He murmured into the top of her head, rocking her gently in his arms.

"Don't you dare leave me too Pleasant, I've lost too many friends in this war and I am not losing you as well." Valkyrie said, looking up into her partner's face.

Skulduggery looked down at her before pressing his teeth to her lips and whispering, "Never. I'll always be here with you Valkyrie, until the end."


	4. Flesh

**A/N: This chapter is M rated. You have been warned.**

Valkyrie Cain was a being covered in flesh; flesh sensitive to each touch, each caress from the cold leather gloves that Skulduggery Pleasant bestowed upon her. There were not many times that he wished the skin to be back upon his body but each pleasure induced shiver of Valkyrie's brought the total of those wishes up.

He wished to feel the heat of her body as it pressed against his and feel her teeth graze his body as his grazed hers. The bones that were his body could feel as much pain as one cared to cause it- granted this made for some interesting experiments in the bedroom- but they were not so successful for the sweetness that is pleasure without pain.

A further disadvantage of his life as a skeleton was that he was limited in the pleasure he could give to his lover, what with not having a tongue or a certain other appendage that can be useful. Arousal was not nearly so fun when you had nothing to show for it.


	5. Goodbyes

Valkyrie walked through the front door of her house for what she was certain was to be the last time. She had said goodbye to her parents many times before at points in her life where she was going up against some of the deadliest foes that the magical world had to offer. This time was different though, this time it was full out war she was entering into and this goodbye had a feeling of finality to it that she could not overlook.

She fixed a smile on her face and walked through to the living room where her parents were sat watching TV. She'd called the reflection earlier and told it to stay upstairs with Alice for a little while so she knew no replicas of herself would interrupt them and cause her parents untimely heart attacks.

Her mum looked up when Valkyrie entered the room and smiled at her in a way that nearly caused Valkyrie to lose all composure there and then and break down in tears. She composed herself and crossed to the sofa, squeezing in between her parents.

It was nice to sit and forget about everything for a little while, block out the world with jokes on the TV and her parents laughter, but she knew it could not last forever and too soon it was time to leave again. She kissed both her parents on the cheek and told them how much she loved them and they said it back with a touch of suspicion in their voices. It took all her willpower to stand up and walk out, the thought of what must be done for the world spurred her on.

Skulduggery's car was parked around the corner and as soon as she was sat once more in the passenger seat, Valkyrie burst into tears as Skulduggery put his arms around her and hugged her to himself.

"This is really it isn't it?" She whispered.

Skulduggery hesitated, wanting to comfort her but deciding that she deserved the truth. "It certainly feels like it, my love. Most of our allies that I've spoken to seem to be going into this preparing to die. There are a lot of sanctuaries against us after all; but don't for one second think that we're going down without a fight, and if we die we die together right?"

Valkyrie smiled through the tears that refused to cease falling and looked up at him. "That's right, you're not going anywhere without me. I won't say goodbye to you too."


	6. Dress Up

Valkyrie Cain stood in front of the mirror in her bedroom in Skulduggery Pleasant's house and attempted to fix a tie around her neck without strangling herself. Having never had to wear one before, it was not going well.

"SKULDUGGERY." She shouted at the top of her voice. The house was large and they would often call to each other from various places in it, asking the other to do something, only to get angry later on when the task was not done.

Skulduggery entered wearing his outfit for the evening; a beautiful, slinky deep blue dress. Like Valkyrie's suit, the dress was also a Ghastly Bespoke creation, fitted so that it added the illusion of mass and gave him a killer figure. Valkyrie's suit was charcoal grey, with a white shirt and a waistcoat that hugged her figure. The reason for their attire was a meeting the sanctuary was having with various representatives from sanctuaries around the world. The elders had decided it could be made a lot less boring if everyone cross dressed for the evening-not to mention how much more attractive it would make everyone present.

Valkyrie grinned when she caught sight of Skulduggery. "You look great in that! Do you think you could help me tie this thing, I appear to have succeeded only in making it into one big knot. I don't know how you cope with wearing one everyday." She sighed.

"For one so intelligent and capable you really need to work on some of the more important things in life." Skulduggery said, walking over to Valkyrie and attempting to untie the triple knot that she had made.

"I can kick bad guys, hard. Not to mention the fact that I look drop dead gorgeous in a suit. I think I've got the most important things covered."

"That's very true, my dear." Skulduggery said as he finished fixing Valkyrie's tie for her. He took hold of the end of the tie and used it to pull her closer to him before kissing her. Valkyrie grabbed the straps of his dress and used these to pull their bodies closer together so that each part of them were touching.

They stood locked in their embrace for several minutes before Skulduggery finally pulled back, murmuring, "you really do look very sexy in that outfit Valkyrie. I shall have to thank Ghastly when I see him tonight."

Valkyrie smiled and replied, "and I will have to thank him for the wonderful number you yourself are wearing. I hope this is a thing you'll have on more often?" She raised her eyebrows mischievously.

"Oh I think we'll both be wearing these clothes a lot more from now on."


	7. Apocalypse

Darquesse stood amongst what remained of the chaos she had caused and surveyed it with pride. Valkyrie Cain had been angry; Skulduggery Pleasant had been taken from her and replaced permanently with Lord Vile causing her to snap and allow Darquesse complete control. The anger had passed over to her and she had lain waste to the world, destroying country after country and hearing it's people scream as she soured over them.

Now she was back on Irish soil, or more fittingly, Irish dust, where it had all started. Now that she thought about it she didn't much care that Skulduggery had been replaced by Lord Vile, she liked Vile much more. Which is why she had left him alive when she set about destroying humanity. They were the only two beings left alive on the planet, and they were going to have a lot of fun.

Lord Vile observed Darquesse from a distance where she stood in the ruins of what had once been their country. He could easily have stopped her homicidal rampage, but gratuitous murder was just so attractive.


End file.
